ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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