I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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