im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
