I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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