If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
high people should be assigned attendants
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
