Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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