hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
