Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
