He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
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If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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