Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
