her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize