...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
