I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
