Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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