ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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