I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
