It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you traded sex for a burrito?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
