friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
