i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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