Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
