My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize