that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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