My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
