During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
