are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
