I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
