that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
There's even glitter on my cock...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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