Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
