glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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