so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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