Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
