Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
sex in a hospital.. check
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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