One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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