Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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