she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
