So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Who died my cat blue again?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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