Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
