We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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