There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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