Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Boobs speak an international language.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
