ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
