The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
