I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
false alarm, still single
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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