brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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