I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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