ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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