The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have post one night stand depression
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
