I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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