i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
