So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
