you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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