either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I will die if light touches me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
