Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you win again, gameday.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
