guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
