we have officially lost it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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