Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
