i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
