I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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