Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
