dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So vagazzling was a success
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