I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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