Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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