Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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