He asked to "fluff my boner.."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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