And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think I am morally bankrupt
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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