The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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