; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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